By Underground Health Reporter

Weighing the overall impact an individual has on your life means evaluating what they bring to the relationship table.  We all have our bad days, feel down or get irritable.  If someone in your life has far more bad days than good – you may want to take a closer look at how it affects you.

  • Do they make you feel positive or negative?
  • Are they supportive of your dreams and goals?
  • Is there a give and take in your interactions?

Once you’ve identified the toxic relationships in your life – your next step is to remove them and limit all future contact.

When you evaluate the relationships in your life – you may begin to see patterns you never noticed before.  Maybe you’ve been avoiding a class you used to enjoy because one person there makes you miserable or you screen all your phone calls just in case someone specific tries to contact you.

remove toxic peopleIf you have toxic people in your own family, it can be truly painful to remove them – and there may be a backlash as other family members “choose sides” after your decision.

You cannot change another person or their behavior.  You can change yourself and how you react to the people around you but you cannot change them and it is an exercise in futility to try.  The best thing you can do for them is to lead by example – from a distance.

The most common characteristic that affects all toxic people is selfishness.  They will always put their needs and wants above yours.  Stick to the choice that is best for you and your happiness by doing this you can get healthier with self empowerment.

Remove Toxic People in 3 Steps

  1. Establish your boundaries and do not apologize for them.

The moment you limit a toxic person from impacting you and your life – they push back.  They may get angry, irrational or behave like a victim. Refuse to listen to their problems, avoid engaging in reactive behavior, don’t defend yourself and most importantly – do not allow yourself to feel guilt for making YOU a priority in your own life.

  1. Know that toxic people will not be shaken off easily.

They need you to fuel their problems – as an audience, a support system, a target or to help them justify the way they think or behave.  Be consistent in your dealings with them and keep reinforcing the fact that you will no longer cater to their toxicity.

  1. Learn to recognize the signs of toxicity in people new to you.

By truly listening to someone you’re just getting to know, you avoid adding “new” toxic relationships to your life.  Most people are on their “best behavior” when first introduced but by the third meeting/interaction begin to relax and show their inner personality.  Nip potential toxic relationships in the bud quickly to avoid problems down the road.

get healthier with self empowermentToxic people are drawn to those who have the most to offer in the way of empathy, resources or a forgiving and trusting nature.  Family members may use a sense of obligation or responsibility to get their way.

When you remove toxic relationships from your life there will be a period of adjustment.  You will likely question your decision and try to rationalize the toxic person’s past behavior.

Negativity in your life – left to fester – can and will begin to manifest physically.  Surrounding yourself with negative people will lead to thinking less about your needs, depression, anxiety and a sense of hopelessness.  Even the most optimistic person can be worn down over time by a toxic person in their life.

Get healthier with self empowerment and surround yourself with positive people who enrich your life and support your goals.  Recognize that you matter – that your happiness matters.

Start now.

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