We just took down our Christmas tree – and, while doing so, I gave my wife full permission to buy us a new ARTIFICIAL Christmas tree for next year!!

The one we got for 2007 was real – cut down ourselves – from a neighbor’s tree farm. But, to save a few bucks, I decided to buy a WIDE tree instead of a TALL tree. Big mistake.

Here’s a picture…

Our Christmas Tree

For one, it was funny looking. Looked like a mushroom.

For two, it stunk. Really bad. Like sulfur bad. The water at the bottom of the tree stand was putrid – like sewage. I had to hold my breath as I carried it out of the house.

Speaking of carrying it out of the house… I had to put on my leather jacket and gloves to avoid getting poked by the 3,923,409 razor-sharp needles that had dried up and turned into green steel.

Thankfully, we got the tree out of the house without breaking any windows or piercing any skin.

Christmas tree outside

But then, there was the needle cleanup. Thousands and thousands of sharp, pokey needles all over the carpet, rugs and tile.

Never again.

I used to think getting a REAL tree was a wonderful Christmas tradition.

Now, I appreciate the inventors of the artificial tree.  Thank you, Germany!